When the "Crap" of Life Starts Hitting the Fan

Last night we went to visit our daughter in the Psych Ward.  I know, I know, I am the mom who has four children and three of them have autism.  Why am I talking about a Psych Ward?  Well…our daughter (with High Functioning Autism) who is 18, started seeing things that weren’t there and hearing voices a little over a year ago.    This has progressively gotten much worse in the past couple weeks.  To the point where she can no longer tell that these delusions are not reality.  She is living in them all day, now most days.  

Disbelief is the term that describes my state of mind, in our surreal drive to the Psych Hospital.  If only this were just a nightmare, that I could be assured that I would soon wake up from.  But,no…[After a few playful face slaps to myself]….No, this is not a nightmare.  I am already awake.   Life is not supposed to go like this!  The visit was very difficult to experience.  A big part of me wanted to take drastic action to protect her from what was happening and "fix it; make it all better."  I came home very afraid and depressed.  I closed my eyes and asked for help.

I went to my Parents Meeting of Al-Anon this morning.  I have found Parent Meetings of Al-Anon very helpful to me as I learn to cope in my life with challenges such as autism.  The same, “Step One:  I admitted that I am powerless over [Autism….and now apparently Mental Illness]…and my life is unmanageable.  Step Two:  There is a solution and it is a Power [anyway I understand that power is up to me] much greater and bigger than I am.  And Step Three: (again in my own words); All I need to do, is turn it, (my daughter/autism/mental illness), over to the Care of my Higher Power [or God as I understand God].  These aspects of the 12 Step Program fit my situation perfectly and are super helpful in learning to cope with challenges that often seem overwhelming.

“When the crap starts hitting the fan,” I said as I shared during the Al-Anon Parents Meeting, “thankfully, I can use the priceless Steps that I have learned here!"  I said, "Step One:  I am powerless.  Step Two:  There is a Solution. And Step Three:  I can turn this all over to my Higher Power, so I no longer have to carry it".  "It amazes me," I went on to say, "that  I could feel so weighted down with fear last night, and after using the Steps, feel absolutely fine.  I feel good!” 

I was surprised to be saying those words!  “So,” I continued,  “no matter how much ‘CRAP’ in your life starts hitting the fan…..I don’t care if 7 semi-truck loads of steaming hot ‘life circumstances’ are waiting for you when you return home….You can work the Steps and feel GOOD!  I am incredibly thankful for this program!” 

And I do feel great today!  I am peaceful and not worried.  The thoughts I hold in my mind are:  I am powerless over this; God has got this and I do not need to worry!  The 12 Step Program (a free program available world-wide) has given me powerful tools for coping with life’s seemingly insurmountable challenges. 

Click on the links on the upper right hand corner of this Blog for more information on the 12 Steps adapted for Parents of Youth with Autism, Aspergers, ADHD....and Mental Illness.  J 
I would love to hear, how you are using the 12 Step Program to cope with challenges in your life:  autismcaregiver@gmail.com

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