Self Care Means Not Waiting To Be Happy!

I have spent most of my life, waiting to be happy.  I now see that as a mistake.  I was believing something that I was telling myself, that really was not true.  I no longer need to be fooled by my old ways of thinking and reacting to life.

If I wait until certain conditions are met, before I allow myself to feel good about my life, then with things such as autism or others beyond my control, I condemn myself to be eternally sad, living each day with an attitude of disappointment.  I no longer want to waste my time living like that. 

I no longer place ultimatums on life, myself and those I love and care about.  I accept life exactly as it is today.  I accept, love and cherish others and myself exactly as we are right now.  Nothing needs to change in order for me to be "OK" and in order for me to "feel good".  I am powerless to control whether or not my children are affected by autism. I am powerless to control reality as it presents itself right now.  My happiness and well being are not dependant on life going a certain way or people acting a certain way, as I have unrealistically tried to convince myself.

Autism is no longer able to keep me from being happy.  I can learn new ways of coping with life.  The way I respond to life's difficulties will no longer inhibit my peace of mind and happiness. 

When I insist that certain conditions be met, before I can be happy, a red flag now goes up in my mind.   When I believe that I am not OK as a person or not a good parent unless something specific happens, another red flag goes up in my mind.  Self Care means that I no longer "wait" to be happy.  I accept life and reality as it is right now.  And I find joy and the present moment.

Whenever I tell myself some reason why I cannot be happy right now, or why I am not a good parent or person right now....I realize that whatever excuse I am coming up with, it is a lie.  It is an untruth that I am telling myself and it is not reality.  It is not accurate.

Self Care teaches me that there are no conditions on my happiness nor on my value as a parent.  I am free to be happy regardless of my circumstances.  I am a good and OK person right now and I am no longer going to wait until some conditions are met, (like my children to not have autism) before I allow myself to feel good.


Casdok said…
Very true. I try and remember to live by this :)
Ogawa said…
I have 13-yr boy with autism. This blog encourages me greatly.
Exactly, you can not be able to be happy, if you don't understand yourself. In old age, you need to be independent for you well-being. Otherwise, your child will be going to hurt you, if you dependent upon them

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